Pre-grief Grace

This past week we had to euthanize one of our dogs - Aslan. He was coming up on 12 years old and that is about the life expectancy for Wheaten Terriers. We got him shortly after moving here from Pennsylvania and he was a real source of joy. We miss him a lot but there is peace knowing that God was walking with us and helping us through the whole process.

It may not seem like much to some but when the God of the Universe orchestrates circumstances in such a way that he seems to be preparing you for a difficult thing in your life, I think that is a big deal and that is a big loving God. Let me tell you the ways God was preparing us for the grief of losing our precious Aslan.

We always knew his life expectancy was 12-15 years and over the past two years we could see he was slowing down. About two months ago our neighbor had to put one of her dogs down and we grieved with her. About two weeks ago we heard about another friend's dog who died in her sleep - she was 12 years old. Then, last weekend, we happen to be looking for something to watch on TV and caught the second half of Marley & Me. All these events were sad but they were also grace from God preparing us for our grief.

When Darlene and I returned from the gym this Wednesday morning, we found that Aslan had vomited 12-15 times all over the house. As we were cleaning up, we found small clots of blood.

We took him to the Vet and they did x-rays of his abdomen. The doctor called to say they were keeping him overnight and that the x-ray showed something unusual around his spleen.

Of course we got on the internet and found several articles related to spleen problems and it didn't look good. Even though a dog can live without his spleen, they generally have lots of difficulties and only live a short time. If there is cancer in the spleen, it spreads almost immediately to other organs so taking the spleen isn't an option. We began to grieve the possibility that we would be losing him.

The next day we picked him up to go for an ultrasound at a pet hospital in Kansas. He seemed pretty much back to normal and I began to hope for the best, that it was just an ulcer or something else that caused the blood. We brought him home and waited for the call.

The call came that afternoon from our Vet and his voice told the story, the news was very bad. Tumors had formed on his spleen, liver and bowel and he had very little time.

Adding to this mix, we are leaving Monday afternoon to visit our son and his family who we only see once a year. Knowing how quickly Aslan could deteriorate, we were concerned our dog sitter would have to deal with it in our absence. This was another pre-grief blessing, we could not "put off" our decision. If we didn't have this trip planned we might easily have delayed too long, meanwhile agonizing over when is the right time and may be allowing him to suffer longer than he should.

Our Vet offered to come to the house and administer the injection in a more comfortable setting for Aslan. Thursday afternoon we took him to his favorite place for a walk in the woods, gave him his favorite treat and tried to pour as much love into him as we could with only a few hours left. Friday morning we walked the trails in our development and he enjoyed more treats along the way.

We decided that our other dog, Jake, needed to be present after Aslan passed. We kept him out of the room until it was over then allowed him to come in and be present for a while before the Vet took Aslan for cremation. Our Vet was wonderful and we appreciate all he did to make this difficult decision - more grace from God.

As sad as this is, we have peace that we were guided toward making good decisions and especially that God, while not saving us from this difficulty, was walking through it with us.