In Act 1:6-7 the believers were asking Jesus when he would return and re-establish Israel's kingdom. His response was "Timing is the Father's business" (The Message). It strikes me that I have that same anxiety about "when". Thinking about it, I realize that for me knowing when is about control. When will you bring healing, move in someone's life or reveal your plan for my life?
It's hard for me to be content with moment by moment direction from God, I want to know all the details and specifics. What is it about control that causes it to have such a grip on me?
Control along with a few other sins seem to hang on when so many others have disappeared along the journey. Why is that? Is God allowing these to keep me humble or is it my subconscious mind hanging on to them so that I'll always be (in my mind) unworthy of being used in Kingdom service?
I've told others that God doesn't expect us to be perfect, only that we model progress. Waiting for perfection keeps us from doing what we can with what we have and where we are along the journey. If only I could be content with my own advice. How do I balance my need for clarity and control with God's call to reckless abandon?
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